This is the moment...

It has been a long few days. Part of me feels like an old woman ready to sleep after a hard day's work, and the other part of me feels more alive than it has in awhile. I've learned a lot in the past few days, and even though it was hard-learned, it was worth it. Sohneya and I had to learn this lesson together, and although we both wish that it could have been learned in a different way, we are thankful to have back what we had lost without this lesson. Over this past summer was when our relationship began, and during that time it was vibrant, and we thrived because of it. We had each other, and were so thankful and in awe of the fact that we had actually found each other. We never expected to see each other last summer, and so we lived in what we had at that moment instead of trying to live for what we didn't think would happen. And then a small miracle came along and we got to spend a whole week together here in Montana. It was absolute heaven, there is no other way to describe it in words. We decided that week that we wanted to try and see each other again this winter, and so, with our sights set on that, we reluctantly let go of each other and separated once more. After that visit we were closer than ever, more in love that ever. But then we began focusing on the wrong things. Instead of living in the love we had at that moment, we constantly looked towards this winter, wanting it to happen so badly that we were forgetting the now. We forgot about the now, and although we never loved each other any less or ever fell out of love with each other, we began to have fears of loss, fears that things between us were not okay. There was really nothing wrong except our focus. This was something we recently figured out, and so we switched our focus to the now, to loving each other in this moment, basking in the love we share in this moment, rather than looking forward to the love we will share in the future. The summer we shared was absolutely incredible because of our ability to live in the now with each other, and I look forward to a lifetime of a love like that. So I want to pass this lesson on to you; live in the now. Stop grasping for the future, no matter how much you want it, how hard you reach for it, it will not come any quicker. If you constantly sacrifice the now because you are reaching so hard for the future you will be in a constant state of dissatisfaction. The future will come when it comes, and you cannot change that. So savor the moment you have now. Change things that are wrong now, live the life you have now, live the love you have now, because if you don't, moments will pass through your fingers like smoke and you'll realize how many you have wasted simply because you didn't live them as you were reaching desperately for the future.