Donate to tha LAWD'S children! Help tha desperate! Feed tha fund!

You're probably wondering what's up with the donate button that has suddenly appeared at the top of my blog. I have written fairly extensively about Sohneya and I over the course of my writing here. By now I'm sure you all know how in love we are, and how much we want to see each other this winter. Unfortunately love and pretty words don't buy a plane ticket, which is going to be anywhere from $600-$800. Ouch. We've both been working hard, but still don't have the money necessary to buy the ticket, and are still in need of about $300-$350. So we decided that it would be a good idea to you, our readers, for whatever amount of a donation you could spare. I know how annoying it is when people ask for money, but we're desperate. Thank you so, so much for anything you can give us, and if you have any questions feel free to leave a comment or email me. Thank you readers!

Illness

Being sick is just about the worst thing ever. Your throat feels like someone stuck a hot poker down it, nothing tastes the way it should, you have mucus running steadily from your nose, and your head feels like it might explode at any given moment. And just to put an extra cherry on top it usually means you get to miss a whole day of classes; make-up work might be the only thing worse than being sick. I'm sick today. Today is my busiest day of classes; I had homework in Astronomy, an important lecture in Rock and Roll History, a review session for my Anthropology exam on Thursday, oh, and a quiz in Management Information Systems, all of which I missed because some virus decided it would be a fabulous idea to plant itself somewhere inside my body. Did I mention I also have a job interview tomorrow? Yes, I realize I'm whining, and that it's really not as bad as I'm making it out to be; the world will keep spinning, my work will get made up, and life will go on. It's on days like this that I especially wish Sohneya was with me; cuddling with a hot cup of tea, under a warm blanket with the person you love can help cure any ills. I always miss him, always want him with me, but during times like this it becomes more of a need than at other times. To all of you out there who are sick right now you know what I'm talking about, and I wish you a speedy recovery. My advice to you is this: hot tea or hot cocoa, chicken noodle soup, a long, hot shower, a warm blanket, and either a good book or good movie. As for me, I wish I could write about something more interesting today, and I apologize for the rant, but unfortunately I don't have the energy to do so. So, I am going to follow my own advice and get some rest.

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year...

The fall colors are slowly disappearing, the world around me is turning brown in preparation for winter. The time period between Halloween and New Years has always been my absolute favorite time of the year. It's during this time that the snow first begins to fall, it's when Thanksgiving and Christmas come, and the entire time there is a feeling of warmth in the air. I thrive during this time of the year, my spirit revels in the atmosphere that this time of the year creates. I can't wait for Halloween to come, I can't wait for the snow to begin to fall, I can't wait for Thanksgiving, and I especially can't wait for the Christmas season. The Christmas season is always a big deal to me and my family. As soon as the Thanksgiving meal is over we begin to play Christmas carols, and then it's usually the day after Thanksgiving when we go and choose a tree to put up in our living room. Within a week after Thanksgiving our house is decorated for Christmas, the Christmas spirit prevalent in the atmosphere of our home. Throughout the entire Christmas season we will be baking; my mom makes her fudge and I make my peanut butter balls dipped in chocolate. On Christmas eve I always make pumpkin pie, and my dad prepares the turkey to be baked the next day. Christmas day we always wake up early, usually by six we're beginning to open presents. While the rest of my family sits in the living room I put Cinnamon rolls into the oven for breakfast and then join them to resume present opening. By ten my dad puts the turkey into the oven, and soon the smell of turkey and dressing spreads throughout the house. This is a scent that is in our house twice a year; Thanksgiving and Christmas. These two holidays are precious to me because of how close it brings my family, and because of how happy they both are. My soul absolutely revels in this time of the year; as soon as the first snow flake falls I will be in bliss. To all of you who know what I'm talking about, revel with me. To all of you who do not find this in the Thanksgiving or Christmas seasons, this year look for it. Bring the spirits of this season into your home, look to your loved ones and tell each of them how much they mean to you, how much you love them. When you go Christmas shopping do it with love, do it with a smile. Remember that we only have this life once, so make sure that it is as filled with love, warmth, and happiness as you can fill it with. This is the perfect time of the year to begin.

I will follow you into the dark...

She looks at her reflection in the bathroom mirror as she washes her hands. Other girls are entering and leaving in their black tie attire; dresses of every size, shape, and color appear and disappear. She dries her hands and sighs, thinking of how tired she is, wondering if perhaps she should simply leave the dance altogether; the one the previous night had been better by far. Resolving to leave with the next group within her team, she leaves the bathroom and rejoins the dance floor, using what seems to be the last of her energy to dance while she's still there. A familiar face appears out of the crowd: an African American girl she had met the night before. "Hi," she smiles and greets the other girl. "Hey...Serena," she reads her name tag. Serena looks for the girl's name tag, but can't find one. Another face appears beside her, one that Serena does not recognize. He extends his hand to her. "Sohneya, Texas" he introduces himself. Instead of trying to shout over the music she simply gestures towards her name tag. "Serena, from...Montana," he reads. Something about him catches her, makes her stop and truly look at this man. She can't help but think of how incredibly ironic it would be if something did come out of their meeting, him being from Texas and her from Montana. They dance for a time, until he offers to get her a drink. She thinks she might melt into a love-struck puddle right then and there; chivalry had always been a weak point for her. She accepts and allows him to pour her a glass of water. As soon as they are both sated she pulls him back towards the dance floor and is about to start when she notices the rings on his fingers. Curious, she asks him, "Are there stories behind these?" He nods, "Stories and meaning." Deciding to leave the ballroom so that they can hear each other talk, they stand by a wall outside and he tells her about his rings. And they talk, and talk, and talk, and all the while she can't help but think how easy it would be for her to fall for this man. Unfortunately, after a time he has to leave, and he gets her information, gives her a brief kiss on the cheek, and runs up the stairs after his team. The rest of the night she is floating on a cloud, knowing that her soul had just met his, and somehow, without even realizing it, knowing that he was her other half. Six months later, she and him are in love, the kind of love that not only happens once in a lifetime, but spans lifetimes. Though they only get to see each other every few months, it doesn't detract from their love in the least. As she looks back over the past six months she can't help but think of how different everything would have turned out if she had had the chance to leave the dance earlier, or if she had chosen to sit out while she waited, or if perhaps they had never found each other at all. For a moment a stab of fear goes through her chest; they had come so close to never finding each other. But then she smiles, knowing that it doesn't matter because they did meet, they did fall in love. And she knows that she has found the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with.

My love, I look to the heavens every day and thank God that you are in my life. I know that he had a hand in what happened that night; how would it have been possible otherwise? Thank you for the past six months. Thank you for being there when I need you, for putting up with me, for loving me despite all my flaws, for everything. "Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it, I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted...(Jason Mraz, I'm Yours)." I love you.

Run with me, Friend

I put my foot in the stirrup, swinging into the saddle and pulling Lily around when she tries to wander off without my direction. Looking back to the bridge I'd had to lead her across, I shake my head at her. "Yeah, like you were actually afraid," I say to her. All she does is snort in response, obviously pleased with herself. Smiling to myself, I urge her into a walk along the dirt path. After an hour of slow, leisurely trail riding I can feel her need to run, a need that is building inside me as it does her. We've been horse and rider for long enough that we can read each other almost perfectly; each of us knows that we're thinking the same thing. Although she pulls at the bit and her muscles tense, she respects my command and remains in a walk. I almost wonder who gave her the sedative; she's too much like me: stubborn, independent, and has a mind of her own. Maybe that's why we work so well together at the same time we clash in an almost constant battle of wills, because we are one and the same. As the dirt path rounds a corner it reveals an enormous open field of short, green grass. Her ears prick up and I can feel her body tense to run. At the same time my own body tenses, and I lean forward in anticipation of the acceleration that will come in a split second. She takes my cue in stride and leaps forward, her muscular body flowing forward in a magnificent display of power. In a matter of seconds her legs are extending as far as they will reach, working as fast as they can to gain speed. The ground rushes by beneath us, the wind stings my eyes, our bodies moving in a perfect motion; never once do we fall out of balance with each other. As we speed across the field I loop the reins over the horn and extend my arms to the wind, tilting my head back and closing my eyes, letting the incredible feeling overwhelm me. I can hear her hooves beat steadily against the ground, can feel her powerful body moving with mine, adrenaline taking over both of our bodies. I laugh out loud, the wind still rushing by us, the ground disappearing under us. She never slows, but only gains speed. This is where our spirits are at the epitome of their essence, this is where they thrive, this is what feeds us. There is nothing like it in the world, and as I open my eyes again I know we are thinking the same thing: freedom. The world is ours for the taking.

Days of Eden

Looking at the leaves falling through the air, 

I smile and pull one from out of your hair, 

Link you fingers in the spaces of mine, 

And continue reveling in a world divine. 

A perfect fall day made for you and me,

So that in each others arms we can be, 

Our souls brushing together again, 

In a state we have always been. 

Whether we be young or old, 

You are the one I always will hold, 

Both in my arms and in my heart, 

Never with either do I wish you to part. 

Only For Now...

Money is such an echoing word in our society. It seems that people will do just about anything for just a little more green in their pockets. Not to say that having money is a bad thing. I myself do enjoy spending, but then who doesn't? No, having money or wanting to have money is not a bad thing, it's the attempt to buy happiness which is bad. Is it important to have enough money to survive? Yes. Is it important to have enough money to live comfortably? Not nearly so much as the importance of happiness. No amount of money in the world can buy you true happiness. Sure, a nice car, an expensive dress, priceless jewelry, those things may buy you temporary happiness, but that joy is very temporary. For my birthday this past year Sohneya gave me a heart-shaped necklace made of Swarovski crystal. I can't even begin to describe to you how happy I was when I first saw it; it was the first birthday present my love ever gave me, and not only that but it came straight from his heart. It's not worth nearly as much as something made of diamonds, or rubies, or any other precious stone, but that doesn't mean it has any less value to me. If he had casually walked into a jewelry store and picked out the most expensive necklace there simply because it was the most expensive it wouldn't mean nearly as much as my necklace to me because of the fact he didn't put his heart into it. Would it make me happy when he gave it to me? In a way, yes. Everyone enjoys getting nice things. But it wouldn't give me that deep sense of love, happiness, peace, and contentedness I got when he gave me my crystal necklace. Eventually it would end up in a jewelry box, almost completely forgotten. I would probably never think of it, it would just be another object in my home. But the crystal necklace he gave me will always have that special meaning to me. It will never be just another object, it will always be the first birthday present he ever gave me, a symbol of his love for me, and every time I look at it I can't help but smile because I think of this. Every time him and I give each other gifts that come from our hearts it will create a love-filled memory which will give the gifts so much more meaning than they could ever have otherwise. Don't try to buy happiness, because temporary happiness may be able to be bought, but true happiness, the kind that spans lifetimes cannot be bought by any amount of money. If Sohneya gave me a bracelet made of braided grass that he had put time and thought and love into it would mean so much more to me than something he casually picked out in a jewelry store. Don't think that by buying someone expensive gifts you can win their heart, because a heart can't be bought. Don't think that you can buy yourself or the people you love into happiness, because you can't. Don't think that buying an expensive house buys you a home, because a home cannot be bought, only made. Don't think that love comes at a price, because it doesn't. Don't think that money will make all your problems and worries vanish, because it won't. Money is an ephemerality, and so are the things you buy with it unless you put thought and meaning into the things you buy. Don't think that by simply buying someone a nice house, nice car, and other nice things you are providing for them, because that's not true. When you create a home for someone, when you get them gifts that come from your heart, when you give them love, then you are truly providing for them. The next time you talk with a loved one think of the happiness that comes along with it. Remember, money is ephemeral, love is eternal.

The Progression of the World

The leaves are turning that brilliant, lovely color of yellows and oranges that announce the coming of fall. Soon, the trees will be bare and then white crystals will fall from the sky, coating the world in a layer of white. The intricate crystals will combine to create a white, sparkling lace that has a life and beauty of its own. Winter will come, and by January the bitter cold will chase everyone indoors so that they may sip hot cocoa and curl up by a warm fire with perhaps a book, perhaps a loved one. Then the snow will slowly dissipate, leaving the brown earth uncovered. But then the sun will peak its head out from the clouds, the rain will fall, and life will return to the world. Green will begin to appear again as the leaves regrow, the grass once again regains its luster, and flowers bloom again. Life will begin once more as new lives are born, brought into the world with bright, curious eyes. Young horses will run and jump with their newfound legs, birds will burst from their eggs and immediately start with their lovely, melodic song, young children will look out at the regrowing world with wondrous eyes. Spring will have finally arrived after months of cold, bringing warmth with it so that people venture outdoors again without first putting on layers of warm clothing. As the sun warms the world spring will turn to summer. Children will yell in joy as they run to the lake for a swim long awaited, young loves will revel in each other's company, nature will continue to grow. The green that had appeared only months ago will grow more and more, until all we have around us is a lovely world coated in green. Flowers will reach their potential, their petals spreading and reaching towards the sky in all their miraculous colors. There will be not only green, but also yellow, red, blue, purple, orange; the world will be a menagerie of color. Then, as mother nature continues her progression, leaves will once again signal the beginnings of fall. Children will rake leaves into enormous piles, only to jump and play in them. The world will begin to turn brown again, and then the white crystals will fall, the process continues in a never-ending flow of life. 

Side Note....

If you enjoy reading my blog, please feel free to become a follower so that you can get updates on my latest posts. I hope there are people reading and enjoying this...somewhere? Anyone? 

Learn How to Dance in the Rain...

As I sit here, watching the rain fall outside my window, I can't help but appreciate how wondrous it is. It feels like the world around me is being cleaned, like all the dirt of the previous day is being washed away. Taking a deep breath, I inhale the sweet smell of rain, looking out at the renewed world. It seems that we spend so little time thinking about a renewed world, that it's something we take for granted. But then, isn't it something that happens every day, every time the sun peaks over the horizon one more time? It's not something we generally stop and think about, much less take the time to appreciate. Although each time the sun rises and a new day begins it may just seem like another occurrence, we should take a moment to look around and appreciate the magnitude of such an event. Not only have you awoken once again, gotten the chance to live another day, but you've also been given a fresh start. I'm not saying that the problems of one day disappear the next, but that it's a brand new day full of new possibilities. Just think of what you can do in the span of 24 hours. Lives have been saved, new beings brought into the world, people united, love found, all in less time. When you wake up tomorrow morning think of this, think of what you could do with the day, think of all the possibilities and promises the day holds. You never know what's coming your way. Perhaps you'll save a life, survive something that should have left you dead, appreciate something beautiful, help someone in need, find love, find new friends, there are so many promises that are held in a day. All you have to do is see and capture them, use them to make you a better person and the world a better place. Gandhi said it best, "Be the change you want to see in the world."  Don't take all these new possibilities for granted, or they may pass you by without you noticing them, without you ever knowing they even existed. Open your eyes to the world around you, see the beauty a new day holds, and remember that even if everything else in your life is going wrong, if your world is collapsing around you, you always have another day, another chance to make things right. Open your eyes to these possibilities, take in the world around you, and just maybe you'll see something you didn't the day before. Whoever said ignorance is bliss obviously never experienced anything but. Look at everything around you, look at a new day as you might look at the rain; as something cleansed, an old day gone a new one here. Open your eyes. The world is waiting.

Survival of the Fittest

What is it in us that makes us love a person so much that we would be willing to do almost anything for them? What makes us so eager to sacrifice anything and everything we have to, to save that person from anything they might face? Love is a crazy thing in that regards. It turns off our instinct for survival, and switches it around so that we care more for the other's survival than our own. This should go against everything within us that is animal, and yet it happens every day. Not only do we care more for their survival than our own, but we also care more for their happiness. I love my Sohneya so much it's almost an ache, I know that sounds slightly cliche, but it's true; I literally ache for him. Losing him would kill me, and I would fight any obstacle to be with him. Unless he asked me not to. If he asked me to let him go, if one day he told me he no longer loved me, I would let him walk away. As much as I desire to be with him for the rest of my life, as much as I want to hold on to him no matter what, I would let him go because I love him, because even more than I want to be with him, I want him to be happy. Not only that, but if I held on to him after he asked me to let him go, I would have already lost him. This is a good lesson to remember: don't hold on to people who no longer love you, who don't want you in their lives, because if you do you'll be fighting for a cause that was lost the moment they asked you to let them go. Holding on to him after he tried to leave would be the most selfish thing I could do, it would mean that our love was not genuine to begin with, it would mean that I cared more for my happiness than I did his. It is because I desire nothing more than for him to be happy that I would let him go. Love is a crazy thing. Even when I'm angry at him, when I'm pissed off to no end and turning the air blue, I'm no less in love with him. Even though I'm infuriated, I still have that ache for him, that ache that tells me just how much I love him. To all of you out there who have already discovered their life partner, you know exactly what I'm talking about. To those of you who haven't yet, be patient, you'll find that someone. Don't settle, whatever you do, don't settle. Find that someone who makes your heart flutter, who switches around your basic instincts, who you love no matter how raging mad you get at them. If you settle, you'll never be able to experience this, and because of it both your and the other person will grow old and bitter. Trust me, finding your partner is worth the wait. 

P.S. I apologize for not writing for so long, life's been getting in the way lately. Hopefully now that it's calmed down a little I'll be able to get back to blogging daily. Thanks for reading, whoever's out there.